What’s Wrong With Right Now If You Don’t Think About It?
April 18th, 2007 by Ken D
The title is one of the most profound sentences I have ever read. I wish I could claim it as my own, but that ownership would have to go to “Sailor” Bob Adamson. It is the title to one of his books. I don’t know if he was the originator or not, but from what I know about him I think it’s safe to say he would be adamant in telling me it’s not his. I imagine it would go like this: “Who is the ‘I’ that would claim it?”
The first time I read it, I read the sentence and moved right past it. Then as I read a little into his book I stopped and looked at the title again. Then it hit me. And I laughed out loud.
Of course! There is nothing wrong with right now until I have a thought that makes it good or bad. If I didn’t have the thought translating my current reality, I couldn’t think something was wrong. It’s our thoughts that make any event good or bad. This idea wasn’t new to me at the time. I have heard it said many times before and the form I remember best is from William Shakespeare; “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
For some reason reading it as Sailor Bob wrote it had a different impact on my understanding. It seemed to penetrate a bit deeper than any other time I heard the concept.
The fact is all events and happenings are neutral. Then we observe them and filter them through our perspective and begin to compartmentalize them; this one is good, this one is bad. And for each one of those interpretations, we have an emotional reaction.
For many years I have understood our perspective clouds are ability to see things as they really are. I often wondered what it would look like if I could see through the eyes of a child; before the development of perspective, opinion, labels, points of view, likes and dislikes. I can’t imagine what it would look like, but I have a feeling it would be much different than what I see now.
Let me explain. When I look at a tree I don’t really see the tree. Already I have stuck a label on it - tree. I then remember: climbing trees; leaves are green; the tree has roots; I stubbed my toe on a root once (it hurt); I like cherry trees; I have seen many trees laying on the ground; I have cut hundreds of trees; tress are nice; some trees are more beautiful than others; I like old, ancient trees; Redwood trees are cool because they are so big; I fell out of a tree; I had a tree swing when I was a kid; etc…
Thousands of connections in my mind about that tree and I project them onto the tree through my thoughts. So I never really get to see the tree.
My point is this: When something happens in your life that elicits a negative emotional reaction, understand the emotional reaction is only triggered by the point of view you are holding. You aren’t really seeing reality except through the lens of your perspective; and that lens has changed many times in your life already. It will keep changing as you continue growing.
What I try to do is find the perspective that has the least amount of negative impact on me and allows me to grow. I emphasize the word try. I am a work in progress and I often forget to look at my reaction. I often get so lost in the negative emotion I just run with it. Sometimes I consciously choose to keep the negative perspective. My aim is to improve myself and stay positive; sometimes I forget to aim.
I ask myself questions like:
- Why am I having a negative emotional reaction to this event?
- Is this the perspective I want to see this event through?
- Is this a healthy perspective for me and the people around me?
- Is there another perspective I can see this even through that will allow me to grow?
- Is there a point of view that will actually create positive feelings in me?
There is no universal perspective - a point of view which is absolute and the Truth. They are only lenses to see through. Each valid in their own right.
So given the choice, I would rather choose the one which makes me feel better and more positive. When I feel good I have more energy; I am inclined to be productive; I get along with people better; I’m more social; and I grow. I feel more alive and happy to be alive.
For me, this makes for better living.
April 18th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Another way I have grown is through simply watching my emotions without attaching thoughts (or a dramatic story) to them. You’ve written beautifully here about a mental process and how to watch your thoughts “translate” what simply IS. For those of us who have thoughts all tangled up with our emotions too - (once that happens, it’s hard to sort out which is which. Emotion/Thought gets all fouled up and that’s where overwhem happens) - it helps to sit still and allow the story and thoughts to leave, and then just feel the emotion all by itself. Really just grok the energy of the pure emotion - and ultimately the emotion itself becomes neutral. Not good. Not bad. It’ll diffuse and move on at that point. (I have no idea if this makes sense.) Anyway, good post! Thanks!
April 18th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Thanks for the comment Christine. You forced me to go tohttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok to look up the word Grok. It was a new one for me. You are my first commenter and I want to say thanks for stopping by. I don’t think much about sitting in an emotion - but that may be a typical male response; I usually try to blow it out as quickly as possible which is something I’m currently working on. I watch my 3 year old son modeling my frustration/reaction behavior and I don’t want him to grow up like that.